Lost
Throughout the decades of my hiking adventures, I rarely get lost. But when I do, I find that I don’t know that I’m lost until I’m really lost. Make sense? Probably not… I’m sure I’ve already lost a few readers (ha ha). This is one of the few times that I was in the middle of a forest in western Washington, faithfully following a hiking trail, and realized after several miles that I am on the wrong trail. It didn’t lead me to the ultimate view of the river that I was wanting to photograph. Therefore, I was literally lost, yet following a trail that had to lead me to somewhere at some point in time. Just not in my own predetermined time or place.
When I find that I’m lost, I first become pretty angry at myself, since I usually have a good sense of direction and location. It’s ironic that anger is my first knee-jerk reaction— instead of fear of the unknown. I tend to beat myself up pretty quickly, although I try to excuse it as a good dose of humility. But after the anger fades away, then I start feeling the prickling sensation of anxiety.
The degree of the fear factor is usually determined by the availability of communication and/or technology. Then it becomes my own “Choose Your Own Adventure” narrative. Does my GPS work? Yes, then proceed forward to where I want to go to next. No, then backtrack my steps to my point of origin. Does my cell phone have service? Yes, then I have the safety net of calling for help. No, then I need to conserve water, energy, and food. Have I passed other people? Yes, then pause at the next encounter and humbly ask for directions and help. No, then get out my rescue whistle to use.
In this case, I had cell service, GPS, and passed a few mountain bikers, so I wasn’t too worried. I was irritated to miss my river shots and frustrated with the lack of directions. But I focused on the vivid green trees, moss, and ferns, and realized I was surrounded by a natural canvas of rich, saturated hues of color that truly make up a magical paradise. I needed to try to capture that beauty and let go of my negative feelings.
While continuing my journey down my unchosen trail, appreciating the surrounding nature, I thought about getting lost in life. So many times I don’t see myself getting lost emotionally or mentally. I unknowingly make a decision that leads me down the road of hurt, loss, or failure. Were there warning signs? Did I ignore them? I always wonder that when I find myself lost. But one thing about getting lost, in any sense— you can’t undo it. That’s the road in life you chose- whether you planned it or not- and you have to deal with the consequences and learn from your mistakes. And I’ve learned to listen to my heart. I think our hearts are the best form of emotional GPS to find the best course down the road of life.
